Love and Marriage

Note: the following post is a departure from the usual content of michellekanhelp. Instead of the usual mental health tips, I’d love to gain your insight into “the situation”.

I told myself I would keep this blog relatively unbiased. As in, I wouldn’t self-disclose too much. But over the weekend, something happened. Something most people consider big. Something many people spend there whole lives waiting for. Something I’m expected to jump up and down with a certain kind of joy about.

But to be honest, I’m not that person.

My partner and I have been together for several years. We’ve lived together for about 90% of that time. We are well acquainted with each others families. We go on vacations together. We split the bills down the middle and help each other out if a paycheck is a bit on the short side that week. We’ve discussed having children in the future. We’ve said we are committed, life-long partners. And most importantly, we adopted two puppies together.

But apparently, this is not enough for society.

We became engaged over the weekend. We made a subtle announcement on Facebook (because nothing is official unless it is on Facebook). And we have received an outpour of congratulatory compliments from friends and long-lost acquaintances.

Don’t misunderstand me, I genuinely appreciate the loving comments we have received from all. And my partner and I are no more or less committed than we have been over the years.

But in today’s society, when many no longer respect “old-fashioned” traditions, where people still say and do hateful acts towards their fellow-man, and worst of all, people barely appreciate Thanksgiving and are rushing to put Christmas decor on sale before Halloween has even happened.What’s the big deal with marriage?

Why is it despite the staggering divorce rates and broken homes, people still feel the need to have the legality of a piece of paper to validate their relationship? Instead of making a big deal about an engagement, why do people fail to recognize the fact that our already stable relationship has lasted longer than most marriage’s today?

I’m not trying to stand on a soapbox and preach feminists philosophies. And don’t get me wrong, there have been a few fleeting moments where excitement stirs (as in, “YES! We can get the animals to walk down the aisle with the rings!“)

I’m a believer in the fact everyone is entitled to their own opinion, their own beliefs. And for personal reasons, I agreed to make the socially expected committment.

But I’m genuinely interested in the thought process of others when it comes to marriage. What are your ideas on commitment and marriage? Please, drop me a line and share your thoughts! Help me gain some insight into this wild tradition! And if you don’t feel comfortable disclosing on the interwebs, please email me at Michelle@michellekanhelp.com !

-Dr. Seuss
-Dr. Seuss

The Art of Scheduling

I just had four days off for Thanksgiving break. And now, I look at the minutes as I’m  drowning through the demands I placed on myself before this break and I’m frantically crossing my fingers for time to slow down.

Where did the last four days go? Between family time, being gluttonous, and checking off the to do list, here I am on Sunday night feeling as if nothing was accomplished.

Do you ever feel like that? You schedule yourself a day off but when you get ready for bed, you realize your to do list is as long as it was when you submitted the time off to your boss?

Well. I have an idea: schedules. Yes, that’s right. Even pseudo-vacations should run on a somewhat planned schedule.

And to be hoenst, my lack of personal scheduling is the reason this blog has fallen by the wayside. “I’ll get to it during my lunch break” turned into “I’ll write something before bed” which fell apart with “I’ll do it over the weekend” until now. This weekend I’ve set a schedule for myself to make it through the hectic next few weeks.

Because you can’t deny it. No matter what faith you are, December always ends up feeling like you’re on The GravitronYou know, one of those rides at cheap carnivals where you stand against a wall and the gravitational force keeps you stuck against the wall as the speed increases. You know what I’m talking about.

So I propose the idea of scheduling your “down-time”. It doesn’t have to be minute by minute. Think of it more like the cable company does: give yourself blocks of time to get a category done. For example, from 8am-12 pm I plan on starting my day with taking care of myself and the dogs. Vague enough to give me some leeway, but specific enough to feel like something has been accomplished once 12:01 rolls around. And if you are the type of person that is stuck on the cusp between both “type a & b personality” you can take it a step further: breakfast by 9, walk dogs until 9:30, run until 11:30, and get ready to leave.

See, I feel better just having wrote this. Yay for productive spontaneity.

Source: Dr. Seuss